Caught
by emmyjenny
Summary: Kagome has needed to do something all day and finally gets to do it however this leads to kidnapping and rescues all over the place.
1. GOTTA PEE!

Caught 

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_Summary: Inuyasha can be so cruel when it came to bodily functions. But help is on the way for Kagome from the most unlikely person. ses X kag_

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Gotta PEE!!!!!

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Inuyasha other than a lovely calendar I bought that brings me the only joy in my sad little life :) lol as if your going to read this lol

I really need to pee. Not the kind where you can wait a little bit longer but the kind where you've waited all day.

Inuyasha woke us all up way before the sun had risen saying that we had start early. He even had the audacity to pull my sleeping bag away. I 'sat' him of course but I couldn't sleep after because my 'Sit' had woken the whole forest and all the birds took flight squawking. So I got up. I didn't have time to even go behind a bush and go to the toilet but I thought the Inuyasha would stop some time.

I was wrong we ate while walking, didn't stop to take a drink at a river, nothing. We just kept walking. What made it worse was that it was summer and the sun was beating down and I was sweating a river. I had to wipe my forehead every minute to keep the sweat from dripping into my eyes. This kind of heat made me need to drink a lot making me uncomfortable as my bladder swelled. I complained about the heat and needing to stop and go behind a bush but Inuyasha's reply was 'Just a little bit further' or 'Just over this hill.'

A few hill's later my bladder still swelled and my complaints became more intense till I was starting to threaten Inuyasha that if we didn't stop soon I was going to 'sit' him a 10 meter deep hole. I became quite creative but finally I refused to be ignored and stopped in my tracks.

"INUYASHA!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I NEED TO PEE RIGHT NOW!!"

"Just a little bit longer woman!" he shouted back. I crossed my legs and hopped from foot to foot looking for a way out.

"YOU SAID THAT AN HOUR AGO INUYASHA.. I'M GOING TO USE THOSE BUSH'S RIGHT NOW CAUSE IF I DON'T… MY BLADDER IS GOING TO BURST!"

"AND I SAID WE KEEP GOING!" Inuyasha yelled back. I gave him a look that said if he tried to stop me he would be eating dirt. And walked into the trees.

"Come back woman! We have to keep going!"

"SIT!!" was my only reply as I began to pull my pants down. Before I even got them down a centimetre a strong arm was around my waist and I was pulled screaming into the air, away from Inuyasha, who was still struggling in the dirt. I even forgot that I need to pee really, really badly and screamed my lungs out. When I ran out of breath my bladder remembered that it was about to burst and I looked at my abductor gasping for air, but I could only see a black undistinguishable blob, its edges blurry and seemed to mix in with its surroundings. I said

"We need to stop" it turned what I assume was a face towards me and kept going.

"Look if we don't stop I'm going to pee my pants" it ignored me

"Your kimono is going to get soiled" that did it, it dropped me like I was on fire. I rushed behind a bush and looked back at it.

"Turn around please" it shrugged and complied. I began to pull my pants down. When something like a vine wrapped its self around me. I screamed yet again but this time my bladder kept up its insistence that I go to the toilet right then and now, as the vine pressed my bladder.

The kami's must have been against me cause I still needed to go and I was abducted from my abductor. My undies were around my knees stopping me from kicking, running and many other things my legs did. Except crossing them to stop the urgent call to the wild. I took a deep breath and resumed screaming at the top of my lungs as I was pulled backwards, unable to stop, unable to see, unable to pee. I whimpered as pain was added to my discomfort as rocks, branches, twigs, and dirt hit me leaving gashes and scratches on my arms and legs also pulling my undies down further. They now surrounded my ankles but I refused to loose the only pair of undies I had with me and crossed my feet trapping my undies between them.

The pulling suddenly stopped but I continued in the direction I'd been heading for a few meters as inertia _(An: To continue moving in a direction unless another force is put on it) _took hold. I slid down a tree bark digging painfully into my back. I sat there dazed as my captor fought a white blur.

The fight didn't last long and during that time the vines only tightening there hold on me. When my captor finally died he had a death like grip on me and I was gasping to get air into my restricted lungs I had black spots at the edges of my vision and I could tell my face was turning blue. I suddenly felt the vines cut from me and I fell to the side only to be caught gently by a clawed hand. I coughed as badly needed air rushed into my lungs. I felt my self being helped to stand and dimly recognised that I was being led to an unknown destination. As I walked my bladder was pushed and I jerked away from my rescuer.

"Gotta pee… be right back" I mumbled as I dashed off not caring if he followed, got a good distance away from him and squatted behind a bush and finally did what I had to do. I sighed contentedly as my bladder finally emptied. I walked back to my rescuer a very happy girl.

Till I saw who it was.

**An: I'm sure I'll update this story soon but not now. I just feel its been to long since I posted something up :) Review and tell me if think it's a good story and I should keep going :) **

**WAH!!!!!! Some mean random person flamed me!!! WAH!!! And my story was only on for 3 hours wah!!! Mean person!!**


	2. Surprise!

Chapter 2

Surprise!

_Disclaimer: I'm sure we all want a little piece of Sessy for ourselves but it can never be for me I can only dream.. and plot muahahahahaha ^choke ^_

_I'm sorry if i got all your hope's up :) i had to fix this :) the other document I posted up here was missing all it's lines and stuff :( I'm trying very hard to get the next chapter out :) very very hard :)_

'**The location of Final Message To His Creation: "Its written in thirty-foot letters of fire on top of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains in the land of Sevorbeupstry on the planet Preliumtarn, third out from the sun Zarss in Galactic Sector QQ7 Active J Gamma. Guarded by the Lajestic Vantashell of Lob."- Douglas Adams'**

My lips formed a perfect 'o' as I looked at the Youkai before me. His black shoes still pristine and dust free from the fight, his white pants seemed to have the ability to repel everything, you couldn't tell with his black and yellow obi if it was dirty but you'd expect it to be clean and his shirt was perfect as always, not even a wrinkle. The only imperfect thing about him was he still took a few deep breaths through his nose from running and fighting the vine youkai and under his claws was a liquid that looked a little like blood but green. He endured me staring at him patiently. I opened my mouth and began

"Sesshomaru.." then shook my head and turned around "this is way too weird"

"Stop" he commanded, I paused and looked questioningly over my shoulder "You will use this Sesshomaru's name respectfully, Human and turn your back on this Sesshomaru again and you shall regret it" my eye twitched

"Hey! If we're talking about using names I suggest you use mine! Its not Wretch, Shard detector, Reincarnation, Bitch, Whore, Human or whatever, its Kagome Higurashi! You can use my first or last name but" I copied his tone of voice "use this Kagome's name respectfully" then as an after thought spat like a curse "dog" he growled

"Do not mock me human" my eyes narrowed and I turned my body around to face him

"Fi-ine." I said sarcastically with a sickly sweet smile planted on my face and began walking backwards away from him

"Stop" I stoped and my smile was whipped from my face and replaced by a scowl "What!? I did what you asked! My back isn't facing you, Sesshomaru-_Sama_!" amusement fluttered briefly in his eyes

"While your antics amuse This Sesshomaru, Your about-"

I closed my eye's in exasperation and turned away it was too much to deal with, to be saved from abduction by Inuyasha's snotty brother then ordered about, and hit my head on a branch and nose on the trunk. I fell like a stone to the ground

"-to hit a tree" I opened my eye's and groaned staring up at the mostly emotionless, tall, annoying, stupid, dumb, _Baka_ of an inu-youkai above me. Even if he was surrounded by pretty shiny stars, sexy, golden eyed, silver haired, drool-a-licious.... no, no, no... stop that! bad Kagome the bump's done some damage stop don't go back to that thought!.... who wears his cloths too tight... I should help him by loosening them and perform CPR cause they must cut off his air supply... grr damn tree...

"Damn tree!" I whispered and reached up to my face to check if it was bleeding. A clawed hand was thrust in front of my face. I ignored it and stood up by my self. I stuck my nose up in the air, blocked all other thoughts out of my head then walked away.

"Where are you going human?"

"Away from you"

There was no response and suddenly he was standing imposingly in front of me

"What is this human?"

He whipped out from one of the many folds of his kimono my undies! I gasped and realised that they must have fallen off when I stood to follow him.

"Give them back!" I reached up to get them but he moved them just out of reach, I jumped and he kept them tantalisingly just out of my reach.

"What are they for?"

"Like I'd tell you!" I jumped again and missed "Now give them back!"

I tapped my foot impatiently and looked up at him

"Give them back or… or else!"

"Or else? There is little you can do to stop me from shredding this strangely shaped piece of cloth." Fear entered my eyes as I imagined my only pair of undies turned into confetti. Not that it was bad being bare bummed but.... man that's a lot of 'b's... what if there was a sudden gust of wind and my short green mini skirt/school uniform went flying up and showed to whole world... well what was beneath?! Speaking of which there was a chilly breeze right now. I felt my face heat up as thoughts of Sesshomaru seeing me half naked flashed through my mind.

I unconsciously held my skirt down with one hand. Then an even more horrid thought entered my mind. I'd been jumping up and down! Surely my skirt had followed my movements and flown up too!?

"Shit!!" I practically shouted at Sesshomaru. I gave him my best glare and said dangerously

"Give them back NOW!" he rose a delicate eye brow

"Don't presume to order this Sesshomaru human.. You will answer my question or the strange garment gets it" (an: lol so gangster-y lol) he'd been enjoying him self but she was getting a little too stubborn for his tastes... maybe he should ask different questions? Before he could there was a small pop as the button holding the strange green skirt slipped from its hole and was pulled down by Kagome's nervous hand. Both his eye brow's disappeared beneath his fringe and he couldn't help it as his eyes travelled south to between her legs. "Hentai" she whispered as she covered her self with one hand while she bent down quickly and grabbed her skirt crumpled on the ground with the other.

"Are you _trying_ to seduce this Sesshomaru, human?" he said mischievously, I looked up at him sharply and noticed the twinkle in his eye's, as I did up my skirt.

"Of course not! As if I'd want to seduce YOU?" I saw a little flicker of annoyance and continued on "Your mean, you bully, your breath smells, your hair is too perfect, you don't smell that great, you steal, your-"  

"Okay! I get the picture!" he said spreading his arms wide my eyes following my undies in his hand.

Then before he realised what happened I rushed forward and I successfully snatched my undies from his clutches I leapt back and did a victory dance with my undies in hand "I'm the best, hehee, I got my undies" I chanted as a jumped around happily. I didn't notice that he hadn't tried to get them back, all that was important at the moment was that I finally got my undies. I finished my victory dance by putting them back in their rightful place. I looked at Sesshomaru to find him bent down, I took a step forward as he straightened. My face paled and my jaw dropped…

What he held in his hand between his pointer finger and thumb was near the top of my '**Never** be found on ones person' list, just above a human hand and illegal drugs.

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**AN: Aaaaaand I'll leave it there lol :) oh my cruelness is oh so perfect lol you'll LOVE the next chapter.. I did lol.. just wait till its finished you'll die laughing.. but I hope not too fatally too write reviews at the end.. lol**

The Next chapter is called: "Not food?"

_Vacation_

"What's that!?" my parents give me blank stare's

"That noise, what is it?" slight pause and my parents burst out laughing

"That's the sprinkler! You've forgotten!"

Yes lady's and gentlemen. The draught in Australia has caused me to forget (seriously, really seriously) what a sprinkler sounds like!!!!

One of the many trademarks of my childhood (and I suppose Australia).... you know you'd go out and every one's sprinklers would be on going "ssshhht chsh chsh chsh sssshhht"... I'm sure you've all heard what sprinklers sound like and don't need my vague (and bad) translation of one. But now (since the more than 10 year drought) the only sound I hear is the zooming of speeders, the scrape of metal as they crash and (of course) the whine of ambulance sirens.. I woke up to the sound of ambulance sirens this morning.... probably because I live so close to a hospital...

Because the sun is rising later and my alarm clock (my dad) stops for no sun I'm waking up at dawn and yesterday the sunrise was bright orange and the sky bright blue (very painful on my eyes) but very pretty and a good contrast and I woke up saying "wow". Lol from sprinklers to sunrises my rant seems to have taken on a life of it own lol.

**This Rant was brought to you by *for privacy concerns this name has be left out*.. naw.. I know how much you all just want to stalk me but sadly that time has not yet come hehe... at least not till I know that none of you are 'bad' per say... :)**

**I hope you enjoyed this, **

**Share and enjoy ^.^**

**Please review**

'**Gods Final Message To His Creation: "We apologise for the inconvenience"-Douglas Adams'**


	3. Not Food!

Chapter 3

Not food?

**'You too, could defy the laws of physics! In one simple step, you could fly like the legs of a Jewelled scuttling crab as a Vogon squishes it, soar as we (born without wings or towels) were meant to soar. Just by throwing ones self at the ground and missing. The trick is that as the person is ABOUT to hit the ground, the person must be absolutely and perfectly preoccupied with something else other than the ground, and the pain of hitting it. This way, physics will look the other way, and the person will float. This is linked to SEP's (Somebody Else's Problem)'- Douglas Adams' concept, my re-interpretation'**

The Kami's must have the BIGEST, BADDEST vendetta or a grudge or something against me for all the horrible crimes I must have committed in past lives... like sealing Inuyasha to a tree.

First I had to really, really, REALLY pee, then I got abducted two times (still needing to pee), then saved from my second abductor by Inuyasha's stuck-up, snobby, cold and generally mean half-brother, Sesshomaru who steals my undies AND just when I think it can't get any worse something heart stopping embarrassing falls out of my bra! (I had to quickly hide it when Inuyasha came to pick me up from my time and hadn't had an inconspicuous moment to hide it in my bag).

While vainly suppressing a blush, I logically said

"Oh My God! Stop taking my stuff!"

"This is even stranger than the strange clothing you put back on" he said ignoring my statement "what does this do?" I stared wide-eyed at him in absolute horror as he stuck out his tongue and licked it.

"eeeeww! Don't do that! That's GROSS!" I squealed and his tongue halted in its inspection of the 'strange' object he looked at me questioningly then his tongue shot back between his fanged teeth

"Why... is it poison?"

"N-no... its just -EWW!" I was just about to explain why when he looked at the condom critically and shoved it in his mouth. I rushed up close and reached up to his chin and pulled it so it was level with mine "its not food! NOT food! NO, NO, NO!" I shook his head from side to side trying to stress my point... He did nothing "Spit. It. Out!" I said accenting every syllable I saw him rummage in his mouth then his hand came up and grabbed my wrist tightly, but not enough to hurt and spat it out in my hand.

"Eww! Its got spit on it" I scrunched up my face, he gave me a look that said 'well, duh... where do you think it just came from?'. He then did something even worse. He closed my fingers over the squishy, slimy, spit covered condom and patted my hand. I stared at my hand as I heard it squelch with each pat and went over the edge.

I yanked my hand back and ran around in circles screaming for water, holding my hand out in front of me shaking it from side to side as if it was going to jump up and bite me. I was just staring at my hand as spit slowly travelled down my arm towards me. I screamed louder and ran faster trying to get away from it (hysteria does crazy things to a girl). I was finally stopped as I ran head on into a very solid tree for the second time that day leaving a sizeable dent in said tree. I luckily and unluckily fell unconscious.

When I woke up I wasn't in the forest and I sure as hell wasn't in Kansas. It looked like I was on a bed of some sort, but was I really? Was I really in a stone room with a smexy Lord staring at me with no expression at all?

But was the room really there and was Sesshomaru really looking at me? (more like burning a hole through the middle of my head with his eyes). Was I really naked and- wait... naked... he seems to be looking a little lower than my forehead... a lot lower... around my chest area. I slowly moved my head and looked down seeing that my blanket had slipped when I woke up.

"Well.. . will you look at that.. . I am naked.. ." I murmured and without warning I threw a pillow and hit Sesshomaru right in the middle of his surprised face and screamed

"Hentai!" picking up another pillow and threw it at him with all my strength but he was ready and it disappeared in a puff of white feathers before they could even start to fall his clawed hand burst through them and attached to my neck followed by the rest of him. He growled as he landed with me underneath him on the bed his legs bent either side of my hips as he sat on my stomach lightly. I looked into his eyes to keep his from straying down again. Neither of us moved for a time as the feathers softly tickled my bare legs and slipped from his hair catching on his clothes as they fell. I giggled as the feathers caught between his hand and my throat fluttered as Sesshomaru breathed.

"You should not be laughing" Sesshomaru said with narrowed eyes. His breath making the feathers tickle me more and resulting in another bout of giggling.

Something moved in my peripheral vision and I couldn't help but break eye contact to see a feather land on THE CONDOM! "What is it?" he purred softly in my ear. I jumped startled, he let go of my throat and reached for the 'item in question' and wove it in my face. I was completely fed up with the whole turn of events that has happened to me in the space of a few hours. I gave up easily saying

"alright I'll tell you" he looked surprised at my sudden cave in. His expression changed to suspicion and I added 'let me get some clothes on first" he got off me and the bed then handed me a kimono, which I struggled on under the blanket. I got up a blush blazing from my face and down my neck. I gestured for him to come closer and leaned forward whispering in his ear what the condom was for.

"so this is a-" I nodded "and it allows you to-" I nodded again wishing the ground would open up under me. Then Sesshomaru made a strange sound it took me a second to realised what it was, Sesshomaru was laughing. I gulped and took a step the back my legs hitting the bed behind me. I looked behind me and cried out in surprise as Sesshomaru jumped me from the front slamming me to the bed. By head snapped around to look at him and his mouth came crashing down on mine. Before I could register what had happened both our clothes flew into the air and thrown to the floor behind him. Sesshomaru pulled back looking down at me.

"what the hell!" I asked and ticked off by this new added confusion. The only reply I got was a deep laugh.

_An: inspired by '+ SessKag + condom?' by YoukaiYume On a single spark/ deviantart_


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